Revelations Through Roses

A couple weeks ago, I had this revelation that I wanted to share with you. It seems to be a good summary of how the first few weeks of this Counseling School have been going and the things I’ve been learning about (although there are so many, I could never fit them all into a single blog!).

I was outside the YWAM base walking through a flower garden, and stopped to take some photos. I noticed one rose in particular that stood out to me. I got my camera ready, then realized there was a plastic bottle on the ground next to the rose, definitely about to ruin my pretty picture. I was super annoyed because Spain is really great about keeping garbage cans and even recycling bins available in public areas like this garden, and there was no reason that somebody should’ve littered and thrown this bottle on the ground instead of a trash can.

That’s when God gave me this vision. I saw the same scenario, but with God standing in my place. He reached down to remove the bottle, and the rose grew arms to slap away His hand. The rose said “That’s mine, don’t take it away from me!” To which God replied “but this is trash, it doesn’t belong in your roots”. The rose said “I don’t care, someone gave that to me, and now I have to keep it”.

God showed me how I’m like this rose. He wants to take away these lies and hurts that other people have thrown into my life, but I look ridiculous saying “no don’t touch that!” because sometimes I trust in the words that people have spoken over my life more than the truth that God wants me to believe. Things like I’m not worthy of love, I don’t have as much to offer as another person, that person judged me so everyone will judge me. He told me that He wants to restore me to the beautiful creation He made before I had let words from others define my identity.

This is the fateful rose. Isn't it lovely just the way God created it?

A big part of this school has been learning the foundations of counseling, which means the foundations of Jesus’ love for us, because that’s the power that actually heals more than any technique or treatment plan. While reviewing these foundations, it shows how much more I still need to grow, and thankfully this is a great place to start applying those principles! This vision of the stubborn rose has been a great visual for me the last couple weeks, and I hope that through sharing what the Lord is speaking to me, He will bless you with that revelation as well. 

Another Prayer Update - A Week With A Michigan Team!

If you're a part of my weekly prayer email list, you've received this message in your inbox. But I wanted to share these great updates with everybody!

Hey everyone,

This last week, YWAM hosted a team here from Michigan. One of the leaders, Brenda, is a nursing instructor and has a passion for women in sex trafficking and prostitution (yes we are going to be best friends). Before they arrived, she contacted us in Hefzi-Ba wondering if she could get connected with the women’s ministry. We invited all the women of the team to join in ministry, and we had such a good time with them!

Friday night, we took the ladies out to the plaza to give pedicures to the women in prostitution. This is something Becky has been doing for the women every few months or so as a way to show love to them. So me and Raegan have been practicing our nail art on each other – I never thought this was something I would be dedicating so much time to in preparation for ministry! Thankfully the new girls we trained in on Friday before we went out to the plaza have natural talent, and were able to do a great job on 8 of the women that received both pedicures and manicures since we had enough people to jump in and help.

Giving mani/pedis, massages, coffee, and love to the women working in the Plaza.

On Monday afternoon, we hosted a women’s craft workshop making barrettes with supplies brought by the team. Once again, we had 8 women show up, and some of their young daughters made barrettes as well. Peruvians love all sorts of hair clips and things, so this was a big hit with the women here. The most exciting part was that one of the Plaza women came with two family members! We always invite the Plaza ladies to our women’s events, but they don’t generally feel comfortable enough to come to our events. The fact that she came and brought others with her shows that we are gaining her trust and that God is working in her heart! Hooray!!! :)

Prayer requests from this last week: Some of the team members would like to come back next summer to work with Hefzi-Ba! Details have yet to be figured out, but please keep them in your prayers whenever possible as they figure out the logistics and follow God’s direction. We were so blessed to have these girls join with Hefzi-Ba for a short time, and would love to see them return to Iquitos!

I’m still physically not so hot… I got meds yesterday for an infection, and have head cold or allergy symptoms. Being physically exhausted all the time makes it harder to be spiritually/emotionally healthy, and I so appreciate your prayers in these areas.

Thanks so much friends for being a part of this season of life with me :) Talk to you soon!

-Sarah

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Some of you may have received one of my business cards or post cards with my blog info from a garage sale or from a friend, and I so appreciate you checking out this page! Hopefully you'll be blessed to hear about the work that God is doing in my life and through the work of Youth With A Mission Iquitos, Peru.

If you're looking for any more information at any time, please leave a comment or email me at somecallmered35@gmail.com. I'd love to tell you more about YWAM Iquitos, the women's ministry I'm working with inside of YWAM which is called Hefzi-Ba, about missions in general, or how to contact me when I'm back in the States from August-September 2016!

Thanks for visiting,
~Sarah

Updates and Answered Prayers

Once again, this was an email update I sent to my weekly prayer support team, and decided to share with everyone. If you'd like to receive more updates like this and commit to praying for me regularly, send me a message with your email address or use the comment section below!

Hello friends!

This last week has flown by in a blur of busyness! Monday night, I finally gave my kickoff presentation about human trafficking at the YWAM base. It was mostly for the YWAM family, and we had a few invited guests. All day Monday, I had new obstacles coming up making things difficult and discouraging, but after a shaky start, the presentation continued and in the end, everyone said that it was really fantastic information. I got a lot of feedback about things to change, edit, or take out due to cultural relevance or other differences, and I’m excited to keep these presentations going in the next few months!

On the note of trafficking presentations, today (Saturday) was my second speaking event at a youth camp hosted by a local church in Iquitos! I had a half hour of speaking, a half hour of question and answer time with the youth, and some time afterwards to talk with the leaders. This was actually the most confident I have felt about one of my presentations, I think that it went extremely well! The encouraging part about this one was that I was able to share for a bit today, and I will be back with this same group in 2 weeks (plus more youth who weren’t present at the camp) for a more in-depth presentation. The students asked excellent questions, a lot of questions I’ve never been asked before, so that shows me they were really attentive! The leaders also commented afterwards that they didn’t expect the students to have so many questions and be so interested in the topic, although they knew it was really important information for them to learn. They’re looking forward to seeing a more full presentation later on, and I’d like to think the youth are also going to be very interested the next time around!

A fun story about this camp opportunity: I had been praying about this presentation beforehand, asking God which things I should focus on more or if He had any specific things to say to this particular group about trafficking. I felt that He put on my heart a couple of statistics about the effects of pornography, which I always talk about (the subject of porn) in my presentations because so many trafficked people are used in pornography, I want people to know that supporting the sex industry in this way is supporting trafficking. So I made a point this week to re-check those statistics, and although I didn’t actually share them in my presentation (because I totally forgot), two separate boys asked about those specific stats in different questions, and I was able to give the answers because I had been reminded by God to look for them. He just constantly reminds me that He knows us on such an intimate level, and He truly has every part of our lives planned and held securely in His hands.

Another big event this week was the beginning of Hefzi-Ba women’s meetings after over a year-long pause! This was a first for Raegan and I, but Becky had put on these events for years as part of the women’s ministry. The format is similar to a youth-group kind of setting, where we have a game/activity, worship, a teaching, and small group time to discuss the message. There were 13 teen girls and women overall (not counting the 6 of us leaders), and we all felt that it was very successful in terms of women reached and the fun we had together during the meeting! I’ll be uploading pictures soon to Facebook… Make sure to “like” the Hefzi-Ba Facebook page to follow our ongoing updates!

Thanks as always for your continued prayers. I hope that your dedication to the ministry of Hefzi-Ba is as encouraging for you guys as it is for me! Until next time, ciao ciao!

-Sarah

Here I am speaking at the Vida Abundante church youth camp on February 27th!

Prepping and Prayer Requests

Hello everyone! This was originally an email being sent to my team of prayer supporters, but I decided to share it with anybody interested since people have been asking lately how things are going. If you'd like to receive my weekly prayer updates and commit to supporting me spiritually by uplifting me regularly in prayer, send me a message or comment below with your email address and I will gladly add you to the list!

Things have really kicked into gear around here and I am so thankful to be busy, but have made some poor decisions (involving questionable street food…), and am feeling pretty sick the last couple days. I would so appreciate your prayers for a healed tummy and restful sleep!

As I mentioned before, last week we met with Paola, the director of the Public Ministry (a government organization) working against the trafficking and exploitation of minors in the Loreto region –our province. One great thing to share right away is that she is not only a Christian, but just happens to go to my church here. Coincidence or God’s doing? (I’d say it’s the latter). She gave us some materials to use during my trafficking presentations (DVD’s about stats in Peru which makes me very happy! Also some brochures and stuff), and gave us really great contact info to look into. She is very interested in attending and assisting me in my future trafficking presentations, and she said her friend would most likely want to come along, who just happens to be the chief of the regional police unit appointed to trafficking cases. Sounds good to me! It never ceases to amaze me how God opens doors when we take steps of faith J

This week, I will be giving my trafficking presentation at the YWAM base! I also already have my first outside speaking engagement set up! Becky was asked a couple weeks ago by someone she knows at a church in Iquitos if she would be willing to give a teaching at a youth camp at the end of this month. The topics they wanted her to teach on were things such as sexuality, abuse, pornography, etc. Those are things she’s never really shared on before, and she was hesitant to agree, but was quick to volunteer her friend who had a very good presentation on sex trafficking (guess who that would be?). The youth leader was really interested in that, so Becky and I met with him last Friday to get more details. What’s actually happening now is that Becky will be giving one teaching, and I will give a teaching on sex trafficking the next day. I’ll share more details about the camp as it gets closer. But as I explained to Perci, the youth leader, about the different types of presentations I’m able to do about human trafficking, he decided it was too much good information to pass up, and he wants me to come back on a Saturday in March to share with the whole youth group instead of just the ones that are attending this camp. This will be a more in depth presentation since the teaching I’m giving at the camp will be 30-40 minutes long. It’s funny because I didn’t ask for either of these opportunities, he really came to us. I was just starting to get nervous that I wouldn’t have enough time before I come back to the States to get connected with churches and fit trafficking presentations into their schedules. I had just the day before been sharing those thoughts with the Lord, and then without me even suggesting another longer presentation, Perci asked if I would be willing to do another one for a bigger group of people. Once again… it’s incredible how God continues to open doors as we take steps of faith!

I’ve been pretty excited to share this with you guys, and I hope you’ll be joining me in prayer this week and throughout the rest of my time here (42 days left)! I definitely enjoy giving these presentations and am happy to pursue them, but I forget how nervous it makes me to speak in front of people until I’m shaking beforehand… so please don’t forget to pray for my nerves! I’d also like to ask for continued prayer for the planning of future Hefzi-Ba ministry, as our first big women’s meeting is planned for the last Friday of this month! Lots of logistics to take care of, but we are moving forward! Hooray!

As always, thank you so much for being faithful in supporting me and the work that God is doing through Hefzi-Ba and YWAM Iquitos. I can’t do this without every single one of you backing me up!

The Response That Shocked Me

Once upon a time, one of the women on staff here, Lety, approached me asking if I’d like to join her and another friend who were planning to go to Puerto America, a village on the River that has less than 10 families, and has only recently learned of the love of Jesus. When I heard that one of the main focuses for this trip was to hand out bibles to this newly Christian community because none of them had ever read the word of God before, I was already excited for the things that would happen on this adventure. We were going to get to know the families a bit more, do some worship services to show them how to praise God, have an early Christmas celebration with them, and do some games with the kids. This week of ministry sounded like the perfect time for me to get away from the city, experience the heart of the jungle again, and be reminded of God’s love for the Amazon region. I couldn’t wait to go!

It occurred to me just a few days before we left for the trip that I could make this a bit more personal to my ministry goals, and asked Lety how she felt about me giving a presentation on preventing human trafficking while in this community. She said she thought it would be really good information for them to know, since I’ve shared with her how common it is for children in particular to be trafficked from the smaller villages with hopes of finding better education or jobs in other areas, only to be put to work in labor or sex trafficking. This was a new challenge for me, since I’ve only ever shared in cities before where people are relatively familiar with what slavery used to look like, and may have heard terms like “trafficking” or “exploitation” before. But this community doesn’t have much contact with the outside world, so I had to re-think almost my entire speech, and present it in a very simplified format. This made me pretty nervous, but I also knew the importance of sharing these things with Puerto America to help them be aware of the dangers that can easily be prevented when you know what to look for in a potential trafficker.  

Before and during my presentation, there was one woman in particular named Claudia who was very enthusiastic to hear about human trafficking, and really wanted to make sure that all the adults in the village were there to learn about it as well. She was very responsive while I spoke, and kept saying things like “yes, that’s exactly how it happened”, or “that’s exactly what my experience was like”. At the end, we asked if she would be willing to share what her experience had been. From my understanding up to that point, I figured she knew of someone who had been trafficked, or she personally had been exploited at some point in her life. What she actually shared shocked me, and was incredibly powerful.

7 years ago, Claudia’s daughter had been trafficked straight from the village we were in. The trafficker was a widely trusted adult because she was the previous director of the village school. Claudia started becoming concerned when she never heard from her 13 year-old daughter, and felt that something wasn’t right. Apparently, this director had trafficked many girls, telling their parents these kids would get better education at a school she had connections to in the city, and sent Claudia’s daughter into Iquitos where she was trapped in sexual exploitation for a long time. The woman who watched these trafficked girls (not sure if this was a brothel owner or just the guard), by the grace of God, had a special fondness for Claudia’s daughter, and tried to keep her safer than the other girls being sold. I say safer because she was still submitted to terrible things, but not as often as the other girls that were there. This guard would ask her “when is your mom coming to rescue you? Why isn’t she here yet?” Claudia had searched everywhere for her daughter, checking all the ports and airport with identification, but nobody had seen this girl. Claudia told us “when your child goes missing, as a mother, you never stop searching. You never stop looking for your baby”, even though people from the village had told her that her search was pointless, and that she was crazy for thinking something bad happened to her daughter without any proof. Since Claudia shared this story through heavy tears, it was a little difficult to understand exactly what happened in the end, but what I think she said was that this guard helped her daughter, giving her access to a phone to call Claudia to tell her where she was hidden. Shortly after, Claudia was able to rescue her daughter! She is safe now, living in Iquitos with other family members, and going to school.

This village needed to know the signs of human trafficking. They obviously needed to know many years ago, but for Claudia’s sake, it gave her a lot of closure to have me speak on the topic. Now the rest of the community believes what Claudia was saying happened to her daughter, and will be able to prevent it from happening to any of the rest of their community members, even though that school director had left their village years ago. This was a response I never expected in a million years to happen after one of my trafficking presentations, but it made me so grateful that God had put it on my heart to share this information with Puerto America. He obviously knew that Claudia’s heart was still hurting from that experience, even though her daughter is now safe. He knew that I had planned to go to this village just with the intention of ministering in other ways and being completely content to do so, but He had bigger plans. He chose to use my gift of knowledge on this subject to heal Claudia’s wounds from the past, and keep this from happening to their community in the future.

Our Lord continues to amaze me every day with His faithfulness to me, and to the lost and hurting women in the far corners of the Amazon. He intimately knows each individual heart, and never stops wanting to draw closer to us, just as Claudia never gave up on the hope of seeing her daughter again. I hope this story shows the fruitfulness of everyone’s support of my heart to minister to the women here in the jungle. What an encouraging trip this was! Please leave a comment here if this impacted you, and check out pictures of my time in Puerto America on Facebook!

This was the group I shared my human trafficking presentation with. Claudia is directly in front of me in the photo.

River Trip Prayer Requests!

I wanted to share with anybody interested about this awesome opportunity I have to go out to a River village next week to serve alongside some YWAM Iquitos women! I was originally just going to send this as an email to my group of prayer partners that I update weekly-ish, but I feel that this specific week will need a lot of spiritual covering and blessing. Please join me in prayer for this trip, and let me know if you'd like to receive weekly updates like this to pray for my ministry daily!

Hey everyone,

More details about my upcoming river trip: We leave on Monday! I can’t even say bright and early, because we’re probably leaving before the bright and early even starts… The lancha (public transport on the river, usually a two level boat) leaves at 7AM, we will want to get there at about 6:30 to get situated with all our supplies and things, and it’s a 1.5 hour trip to Nauta, the port city, from the base in Iquitos, without counting the loading up supplies and other transportation, etc. So like I said, we will be leaving before the bright and early J. From Nauta, it’s about a 10 hour trip up the Rio (river) Marañon, a channel off of the Amazon, and that’s not including any stops we’ll be making along the way to drop off other passengers and such. It will be a very long day of travel, and the same on the way home.

Once there, the plan is to do some kids’ programs, church services, possibly a program for youth/teens if there are more than a couple teenagers, door-to-door evangelism (which may be more like spending a few hours per family just getting to know them by doing daily activities with them like cooking or farming – this is a much easier way to share the gospel with Latino culture because they are all about relationship rather than information), and I’ve asked Lety, the leader of our trip, if I could possibly do a human trafficking presentation, and she said that would be great! I was already excited about the trip since Becky told us that she’d like to go as well, because it seems like such a great opportunity to serve together as a team and bond through a ministry that is not directly our own. With the 3 of us, (Becky, Raegan, and myself) I think we can use all the help we can get to form a solid friendship before our actual ministry takes off, to see how we each function in ministry without the pressure of it being our own women’s ministry. I hope that makes sense in words formed outside of my head… But I’m even more excited because I’m not just going to support Lety and her desire to serve in the river communities, but making it a little more personal by sharing about human trafficking for the first time in one of the jungle villages! I’m also praying that this will be the first of many opportunities like this since raising awareness about the issue is one of the best ways to prevent it from happening.

I’d like to really ask for more serious prayer for this upcoming week on the river. I’ve been sick the last few days with a pretty intense cold, and it’s wiped out all of my energy. I am praying and declaring that I’ll be healed and refreshed by the time we head out on Monday, because the river is physically straining regardless of the ministry we’re doing. It’s hotter, there’s no electricity or running water, and the Spanish will be constant instead of just sometimes like it is here in the city, which gets to be very tiring. I’d also like to remind you guys that I’m not on any medication to prevent malaria, which is not as much of an issue here in the city, but definitely a possibility out in the jungle villages. But we have a God who is more powerful than sickness, and I am trusting that you will all be joining me in daily prayer for our team’s health and physical safety!

I also ask that you be praying for the spiritual atmosphere of the village as often as you remember; that the people we are there to serve would see something different in our hearts and be drawn towards Jesus. That if it gets difficult or frustrating, that we would still have the patience and love for each other to work through issues or get over our own pride and be able to work effectively together. That the people would have open eyes, ears, and hearts to receive everything God is wanting to share with them through us. That this would be a trip that leads to a village full of God’s continual love, that they don’t have to depend on foreigners to come in to feel a sense of the Lord’s presence – this is common with villages around here, that they fall away from their walk with God until another evangelist group comes in to “fill” them again. And that overall we would have fun and enjoy the untouched beauty of this far away Amazon community!

I hope you’re all excited along with me, and I thank you so much for being a part of my team of prayer warriors! This is such an important part of supporting me and supporting God’s work here in Iquitos, and your prayers make such a difference. From Monday till Sunday, I won’t have any phone or internet access, so I will let everyone know when I’ve arrived safely home! 

Ciao!

Thoughts On Kids, Kids, and More Kids

I don’t know what it is, but God has something to teach me through children. This has been made clear to me because I have never been a fan of kids, but my last two jobs and now one of my main responsibilities here at the YWAM base during the EDL (leadership school) is to work directly with kids for hours on end. The longer time goes on, the easier it gets for me, but by the end of the day, I am still not excited about booger covered hands that like to play in the trash and eat anything on the floor. Pretty sure that if adults acted the same way, I wouldn’t be excited about them either…but thankfully I only know a few like that ;)

I also don’t know what the Lord is trying to show me through this time of basically mourning the life I had in Minnesota. I loved my house, I loved my roommate, I loved the kids at my job (because they were a good time, not because they were children - let’s not get carried away here), I loved making money and feeling like I earned the little rewards I gave myself for working hard – like Taco Bell after an exhausting day, or the satisfaction of cleaning my kitchen. Now I obviously have no Taco Bell, and cleaning the kitchen here only lasts so long because there are so many hundreds of ants everywhere in the base (and Iquitos), that a counter only stays ant-free for a matter of minutes. It’s been really hard for me to miss those luxuries, and has made the transition here a bit difficult.

But what I do know… God tells us to love and be like children. The more time I spend with them, the more I re-learn how to play. I haven’t been very good at that until the last year or so. I still don’t really feel super comfortable playing with kids, but I’m at least able to take my life a little less seriously and have some fun when it’s needed. I’m also daily reminded of how we are supposed to have faith like children:

Matthew 18:3-5

3 And he said:“Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

We are supposed to have faith that our Heavenly Father is always there to take care of us when we fall down and get a scrape, or to sort things out when we feel like somebody else is being unfair to us. Can you tell that I’ve been working with toddlers the last few weeks?

These little ones are also so attached to their parents, that the first two weeks, every single morning and afternoon when their parents would leave for class, we would have 4+ screaming, sobbing kids who could not be consoled in any way. What if my desire for my Heavenly Father were that strong? What if I just could not stand to be outside of His presence, or knowing that He’s nearby? What if I actually trusted that if I went to Him with absolutely any problem in the world, He would do His best to fix it and take care of me? What if I trusted that He actually knows how to do this life thing better than I do?

I know that I’m here for a very special reason. I do trust that He has a plan for me. But here I am, pouting like one of these toddlers that I can’t have my mediocre life at home, when He’s offering me life abundant. So I’m here now sharing my thoughts and questions with you guys, and asking that you pray for my heart to be more open to His fatherly love, and would trust the way Jesus taught us to.

These are 3 of the 7 kids that I work with every day! Moises, Elisabeth, and Alex.

Trusting In God Means This Is Really Happening!

My ticket is bought + financial support continues to grow + I've been officially accepted onto YWAM Iquitos staff  = I'M REALLY GOING!!! I fly out in 28 days. I have almost all of the monthly support for basic needs covered. I am just blown away by how God has orchestrated all of this to work out so perfectly.

The reason I wanted to blog was to share something specific with you guys that just dawned on me a couple days ago. I have never had to completely rely on Jesus to provide for me financially. I've always been financially responsible, have worked pretty much full-time since I was 14, and have been able to take good care of myself throughout the years. I have been able to pay my way through the things I wanted in life with occasional help from a couple people along the way. But this whole moving to Peru to become a full-time missionary business made providing for myself impossible, and relying on God my only option.

I won't have a source of income while I'm there (for however long that may be), and will be surviving off of donations, as I'm sure you've all gathered by now. I thought that this would be my biggest obstacle in moving back to Iquitos. I initially had the invitation last fall to join staff at YWAM Iquitos, and didn't even consider it to be a possibility until February-March of this year. I was so nervous that the funds wouldn't come, that my friends are too poor to support me, and I didn't even know if people would want to donate. I knew people "believed in my dreams", but who knew they would give so much of themselves to back me up in pursuing my passion?

Everything in the planning process has been going pretty smoothly so far - until this past week when my life here in MN started falling apart a bit. I've been super sick for weeks now, my job as a PCA has been so much more difficult than the average PCA position, and two days before the September rent was due at the house I share with a friend, the 3rd roommate we had just done the entire application process with to move in on the 1st decided to move back to her home state. This seemed like a great time to freak out... Which I have done a little bit. Challenges like this make me want to hide in my room with some chocolate and not emerge until I'm positive that there is nothing outside my door but unicorns and rainbows and happy people.

The day after this girl backed out on moving in with us, I asked God what the heck He was up to. I was not pleased at all with the probable extra rent money I'd have to pay when I'm clearly paying for much more important things right now, like leaving the country to serve Him. I thought He should know that I was fairly annoyed that this would be happening to me. In response, He gave me an overwhelming peace. I'm like a little kid stomping my foot to show how ticked I am that things are not going my way, and He responds by reminding me that His plan is always better. After this conversation with Him, it was so much less stressful to know that He obviously had someone better in mind to move in. His intention is never to leave me hanging or cause me harm. It was such a relief to know that God was doing things His own way, and I didn't have to worry about it.

Two days later, we met two awesome Christian women interested in the house. They will both move in October 1st, and they are such a perfect fit to be living with Dee once I'm gone! I'm excited because they're really fun, great ladies, and slightly jealous that Dee will have new friends all to herself.

So this realization hit me as I was pondering how this all worked out: Being forced into trusting the Lord with absolutely everything has made trusting Him with the little things so much easier. I guess that sounds like common sense, that if He can provide for me to move to another country and follow my greatest dream, obviously He would take care of the easy stuff. But I was amazed at how my trust in Him came so quickly, and not something I had to force myself to believe in (but secretly have a backup plan just in case...). I chose to believe that the last 2 girls we asked to move into this house backed out because God had someone much better in mind. I'm choosing to believe that things at my job are happening for a good reason. Choosing to trust in His goodness isn't such a hard thing to do anymore though - and this reminds me of how much my heart has healed this past year working on my relationship with God, and how He has immensely blessed me in return.

I'd like to encourage you guys to do the same thing. If there's something big that Jesus has laid on your heart, choose to believe that He's got His own way of doing things, and if waiting is where you're at right now, it is SOOOOO worth it! If trusting in His provision is your struggle (like mine often is), His love never fails! What a wonderful God we have!!!

I Have Not Been Given A Spirit Of Fear

I'm in the process of writing up a support letter to let you all know if you haven't heard already about my plans to go to Peru this upcoming fall! But I wanted to update everyone on a few things that aren't so finalized and ask for prayer support for the time being.

My life is crazy as usual - thankfully, the school year has ended for me academically and for my elementary school job! It's so strange to not be starting classes again soon, but I have been just as busy working on my future adventure! I'm applying as full-time staff with YWAM Iquitos, but won't know for a while whether or not I'll be accepted on staff. Either way, I feel very strongly that the Lord continues to confirm the timing and opportunity of my desire to work with women in Peru, and I will keep pursuing this open door unless it is made very clear that God has something else planned for right now. However, I'd like to ask you guys to come alongside me in prayer for both my application process and the preparations I need to make to leave the country.

My to-do list just keeps growing, as I'm sure lots of you understand :) I'll need to very quickly apply for a visa, renew my passport, go to various doctor's appointments, put together some presentations about my financial needs and plans in Peru that I'll show probably more than once at my church, as well as continue raising support since it's only just a few months away now! The plan is to leave sometime in the early fall, but that depends on my application status as well as having enough financial support committed.

I am so grateful to have such encouraging friends, family, and coworkers. You guys have been really supportive of my dreams for years now, and I hope to keep you all as involved as I can :) One of the ways I thought I could keep everyone in the loop was to finally blog about what's going on with these Peru plans, and share some prayer requests! That list of preparations that need to be made and the busyness that comes along with it is a huge prayer request for me. Some other prayer points would be clarity in communication with contacts in Iquitos, peace and rest through the summer of getting ready and raising support, God's provision in completing these tasks as well as financially! I've been somewhat nervous lately, even though everyone keeps telling me I'm so brave to step out of my comfort zone like this and trust God for every need that I have. Let me tell you that I don't feel brave at all! But that pushes me even further into prayer and trust in my relationship with Jesus as He guides me through this process. I constantly remind myself of a few scriptures in particular that are helping me so much in this season. I wanted to share them with you in hopes that you can pray them over me and my plans as well as for your own life :)

Thank you guys in advance for uplifting me in your prayer life. It means so much to me, and makes a world of difference!

Joshua 1:9

This is my command--be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.

2 Timothy 1:7

For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Isaiah 61:1

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,

because the Lord has anointed me

to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim freedom for the captives

and release from darkness for the prisoners...

Finals...

Hellooooooooooo!

I just want everyone to know that at some point once I'm caught up with my finals at school and have some time to breathe, I will be working on an email update from my time in Panama! For those of you who don't already know, it was fantastic, and I DID in fact get some sun (so THERE). If you did not receive my first email about Panama, but would like to, please comment here, message me on facebook, or text me your email address so I can add you to the list.

Current prayer requests to keep you guys included in my life:
-I spoke at my school about human trafficking and got paid for it! I'm a legit speaker now. So cool. That was a really awesome opportunity that I will have to tell you more about, but after preparing for that presentation, I now have to focus on my finals.
I've got one presentation to do for my Social Problems and Deviance class, which I'm doing on human trafficking of course. I just need to polish it up since I have a short speech on that already, and then please pray that the class would be interested and learn something!

-I'm also doing a big research paper for my College Writing class that I haven't done much for yet... It's of course on human trafficking as well. Actually, it's specifically on the psychological effects of prostitution and sex trafficking, but not straying too far from my passion :) For this one, I really need the motivation and the time to sit down and really tackle this thing since I don't have much of a start on it. I could use as much prayer and encouragement on that one as possible.

-Since I don't have much spare time, I haven't put too much effort into this, but I'd really like to have a new job pretty soon. It's becoming a really unhealthy work environment at my job, and I would like to get involved somewhere that's gonna lead me to my goal later on rather than staying in food service forever. I'm searching for something social work related, or something that looks better on a resume in pursuit of that kinda thing. If anyone has any suggestions, I'm definitely open to hear them! I've applied a couple places, worked on my resume a bit, and am really hoping that I find something in the next couple months. Prayer for an excellent opportunity where God can grow my strengths and learning experience on my way towards my future would be appreciated so much.


This summer, I'm taking one online class, working, and hopefully catching up with people. My life has been extremely chaotic lately, and I decided to take it a little easier over the summer so that I can regroup and reconnect with a lot of you. I really like coffee, lunch, dinner, or dessert dates.... just sayin.... :)

If I can count on you to be praying for me, please let me know how I can return the favor!

When I say I got some sun, I mean I got terribly burned one day in a mountain village, as you can see. However, those lines of red you can see DID turn to tan in comparison to the rest of my skin. Just so everyone is aware. Oh, and this is my new friend Jair who said he was gonna come home with us. 

We Share In His Sufferings To Share In His Glory...?

This post is basically straight from my journal a couple nights ago... I'll probably star ** a couple things to mention down in the comments if you don't know what I'm talking about, like when I refer to the book study I've been doing.



August 22nd, 2013
I'm reading the Wrap Up for the 7 Experiment bible study* I'm now done with. And I just had a pretty important revelation... Well actually Jen Hatmaker (the author of 7) had it for me, but it completely applies to my life right now.
She was in the adoption process with many complications, as it always goes, and she broke down because she couldn't have her kids without roadblocks and every day was difficult to bear because it was one more day her kids wouldn't have parents or a family. She finally told God how much she was hurting and wouldn't stop grieving until she had her kids. He said that the adoption process wasn't just the happiness of bringing kids into a loving home, but for them as new parents (to these kids) to join in the suffering of the orphans. Jesus felt a lot of suffering in his time here, not necessarily being able to fix every problem or heartache he came across.

"If indeed we share in His sufferings in order that we may also share in His glory." - Romans 8:17

So my heart hurts all the time, and I hate that I have years of preparation in front of me before I'll "actually make a difference" (ok I know it's not true, but this is how I feel most days). I hate that human trafficking* is everywhere around me, and people get to work with it -to prevent it- all the time or go to Peru or wherever else and do something. I hate that there are women and children slaving away in bondage every single day, and I COULD DO SO MUCH IF I WERE JUST THERE. But here I am just going to school and work every day, feeling like I'm stuck here forever and I'll be old and wrinkly by the time I get to go do something useful for the world. Here I am, getting more depressed as the months go on because of this awful mundane schedule. As much as I understand what a gift and privilege education is and having a job, I wouldn't hesitate to pass it up if I felt I could be just as qualified to go pursue my dream tomorrow.
But here God says I am doing something. Not just the usual of 'being a witness' and 'serving in the little ways' or whatever. But in reality, I am learning their suffering firsthand (as much as possible in the safety of my life of freedom, I'm obviously not learning what it's like to be a slave). I will work one day with women and children who have spent years hating themselves and their situations, but feeling like there's no better option. Even if they're working towards something good, they've still got their past to haunt them, and so do I.
I know someday I'll be able to tell them "this is how I found freedom in the mundane". Obviously I'm still figuring that out... I've come an extremely long way in the past few years (thank you Jesus), but there's more joy to be discovered.
I guess I will understand suffering, yearning, unsatisfied passion, and impatience on a whole new level when this season is over. As much as I still hate it... at least there is some holiness to this place I'm in. God is good, and maybe there's hope for me and my crabbiness after all.

Halloween Rant

Oh boy. Someone please come and get me off my soap box. Oh wait, I don't actually want you to because I think everyone should seriously consider this :)

Once upon a time.. like a couple days ago.. my wonderful friend Joy posted on facebook a comment about how much money we put into Halloween and what a concept it would be if we instead put that money towards freeing sex slaves, providing education, and feeding the hungry. Of course this is why I'm friends with her, we think about the same things haha. Someone eventually commented that the average American will spend $79 on Halloween this year. $8 billion total. Continuing the conversation, another person mentioned what a huge difference it would make if Americans just spent less money on coffee and put it elsewhere. I mentioned that Americans spend $20 billion on ice cream per year. Anyways, someone else finally challenged Joy asking if she was actually going to put as much money into one of those causes as she did on Halloween expenses, soooo being myself, I decided to provide some quick access to find some good organizations because let's be honest, I fully support all of those things, especially freeing sex slaves.

So I think I'll post those links in a comment to this blog, but I had an idea after I shared some of my favorite organizations that give great things to provide safety, food, and education to people in need. A bunch of my close friends right now are in pretty desperate need of finances so that they can go out and do some of those things. There are two teams leaving my YWAM base in early December going to Nepal and India to practice what they've been learning so far in this Fall Discipleship Training School! Some of them are new students I don't know very well because I'm not at the base anymore and some of them are my close friends, but all of them are paying thousands of dollars for airfare and grounds fees (food, transportation, housing, etc) and they actually need their money in by the end of next week. I think most of them are completely depending on God to provide anywhere from $200-7000 in this short amount of time.

Sooooooo. If you're thinking this typical North American lifestyle of excess is a little lame, please please please consider giving absolutely anything that you can to any of these students and staff going out to serve the Lord and these countries! To partner with them in their ministry, either through prayer or financial support -both are very much needed- you can either contact me for details or check out the YWAM Minneapolis facebook page for their phone number/address (or www.ywam-mn.org). I can give you specific names or a team to donate to, or you can call/email and ask who needs to be supported. Seriously, at this point, every single cent helps. They're looking for monthly/regularly pledged support or one time donations of literally any amount. Plus, checks written out to YWAM with a note attached saying who it's for are tax deductible! And you'll know that the five dollars you chose not to spend this week at Caribou/Starbucks is going to help a student or full time missionary share love with people that have never been shown kindness before. What could really be better than that?

Alright, that was my brilliant idea or maybe just the beginning of a tangent, as usual. Hopefully something you'll consider though? And share! Please! Make sure you also check out the links I'll post in the comments so you can support some legit organizations doing incredible things. But only after you support a YWAM missionary of course. :D

Videos

This is kind of random in timing since I haven't been in Peru for a long time now, but some people at the Iquitos base just made videos that I absolutely must share. They're especially great if you've been to the Amazon (so fellow YWAMers), even if it was a couple years ago because these pictures go back since the River ministry started.  I figured it would be fun for you guys to see an overview of the ministry of the YWAM Iquitos base. I recognize a lot of the villagers you'll see, and you can actually see pictures with my team (and a couple shots of me) in both videos, which makes me basically famous :)  

They're on youtube, I wish I could just embed them here but since they're not my videos, you'll just have to go through the strenuous effort of clicking on these links.

This one shows a bit from each ministry out of YWAM Iquitos

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-4SszAmspo&feature=context-cha

And this one is specifically showing the ministry geared towards youth. Maira and Waldir are the ones that head this up, and we worked with them the majority of our time on my last Outreach (Dec. 2011-Feb. 2012). We did various youth camps and programs throughout the trip which was really fun for me because this is my favorite age group to work with (teens and young adults). 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4UU3gbI1v0&feature=plcp

Enjoy!

My Crazy Summer!

Pretty sure it's been like four years since I've posted.... Another apology, as usual. My summer has been absolute insanity. I started nannying about 10 hours every day, I was a part of Mission Adventures (MA) training weekends at my YWAM base which was about every other weekend, I helped lead two MA trips into Minneapolis, and this week I'm a leader at a junior high event at my old church called Explosion! I'll try to get to all of those at some point. I'll also be starting community college at the end of this month, hopefully will have another job ASAP (huge prayer request), everyone is getting married in the next few weeks so lots of weddings on my schedule, and so many other things are making the end of my summer crazy busy!

Ok. Mission Adventures, for those of you who don't know, is a program run out of a few YWAM bases around the world, and my base in Rockford happens to be one of those locations. Youth groups come in and do an MA trip for 7-14ish days, which means us at YWAM Mpls plan, lead, and host this mission trip. We make all the connections wherever the group wants to go, plan their ministry, and send our leaders on their trip. Some teams go to places like Haiti, Peru, Panama, the Dominican Republic, London for the Olympics this year, Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota, etc. I think those are all the places we sent teams this year, but I could've missed some.

I had the privilege of leading two trips into Minneapolis last month. Both trips had really different dynamics, but both were super fun. For example, the first team that came in had 9 people total, including their leaders. The next group that came in had like 35 people. Slight difference... And of course, God had different things to teach all of us between the two trips. I'll try to share individual stories for each week in another post.

And now, like I mentioned before, this week I am helping out at Explosion at the church (Cornerstone) where I spent all my youth group years. Explosion is a week long event for junior high kids where we get separated into different colored teams, play games, have worship, extreme challenges (like which team can eat random items out of a bag fastest.. some people got anchovies, sardines, and who knows what else..), we have an amazing speaker, and then the kids are given an opportunity to either have someone pray with them or they can stay back in small groups and talk about what they learned that night. This event is actually where I accepted Jesus for the first time as my Savior -according to my spiritual birthday, I am now 8 years old! hooray! So I really appreciate Explosion and love being a part of it. I have been a leader for the event 3 times before, but I've been gone the past few summers either at camp or at YWAM, so I was super excited to volunteer again this year because I'm living in the Twin Cities! Yay! This week has been really great, loving on kids, seeing students that I led on a team when they were little junior high kids and now they're leading as high schoolers, and dressing up ridiculously to support my team. God is definitely moving, we've had a good handful of kids accept Christ for the first time this week, and last night I was one that helped pray for one of those kids! I talked with him for a long time after and answered a bunch of questions he had, so hopefully he comes back tonight. So exciting!!!!!

Quick prayer requests before I get dressed up in my green team gear for the night. I've been feeling pretty sick the past couple weeks. I think from stress. Upset stomach, headaches/migraines, etc. There's a lot going on, not a lot of time to process, and I really could just use some quality time with God to recharge. Please, please, please be praying for the students tonight as our last night of Explosion! Tomorrow we go to ValleyFair, so tonight is the last night where we'll be sharing a message with them (and of course having tons of fun before that), so please be praying for open hearts and that God would meet them where they're at and speak to them. Also lots of energy for us leaders to continue to love on them with all we've got, and good attitudes, it can get difficult towards the end of the week to keep up with the excitement required for 13 year old kids. But God has been faithful and providing for us so far!

It's seriously been an amazing summer, and most of it I wouldn't change for the world. I can't wait to share stories from the MA trips, hopefully it will bless you guys as much as it blessed me. Thanks for those of you who have continued praying for me and keeping up with me even though I neglect this blog so much!
Ciao friends!

Here's me and my friend Bri, another one of the green team leaders! We are decked out in green and you can only see the top half of us... Don't miss the awesome side ponytail I'm rockin' :) Yeah I definitely don't mind making a fool of myself for the junior high kids... let's be honest, it doesn't take much convincing for me to have a good time with this.

Getting Un-stuck From Reverse Culture Shock

Once again, it's been forever since I've given an actual update, but stories from the rest of the trip will probably have to come later. Hopefully the sooner kind of later.. But I was thinking today that maybe I could share something I'm being challenged with now.

I think my reverse culture shock is worse this year than it was last year. Reverse culture shock is a term that refers to the culture shock that happens going back home after being in another culture rather than stepping into a new world and being uncomfortable. I think it's because I connected so much more with the people, the place, and the culture of the Amazon this year. Last year during my DTS, I was still pretty "me" focused, how everything was affecting me, how I missed things like toilets and washing my hands, and how it was "my" outreach. This past trip, leading students of a DTS, I had to completely depend on God for what He wanted to do through us on the outreach because I knew that if I was trying to lead a team being focused on "me", I would crash hard.

It turns out that when you're asking God on a daily basis for His heart for your ministry or the people you're working with, you can't help but see things through a different lens. When your questions stop sounding like "what can I get out of this experience?" and start sounding more like "Lord, how do you want to use me in this experience?", I think God tends to show up in completely new ways. Sometimes that meant being a part of healings and miracles, and sometimes it just meant an energy boost to get me through the next activity. When He came through on those prayers, I connected to the people we were ministering to in an entirely new way for me.

Because of those prayers, I was able to get in the 'missionary' mindset and be willing to do a lot of uncomfortable things for God's glory. It's a stretching experience in anybody's life, but once you start being obedient to what God is asking, you start seeing the fruit of your work and spiritual growth in yourself and possibly others. It's amazing how God rewards obedience just because He's cute and He likes to do that. And it also amazes me how easy it is to forget all those things after just a short time of living in North America again.

What I really want to be doing is to be asking God for His heart for people no matter where I am. I don't want to just connect with people because they're in Peru, I want to connect with people and make a difference everywhere. I'm finding it difficult here at home because it's so simple to slip into old patterns and not care about the world around me. But I don't want to just be a missionary when I'm out in the nations, I want to be glorifying God's kingdom in the Twin Cities and encouraging others around me to do the same.

So a prayer request comes from this I suppose. Would you be praying that I would be asking God how He wants to use me every day here at home? And that I would have the same passion to love Americans as much as Peruvians. It's quite a bit more challenging because let me tell you, Americans are rude and selfish. Let's be honest, I'm still "American" at times, but I personally find it way easier to fall in love with a cute Peruvian slum kid who has nothing but ripped clothes and a great smile verses the screaming kid at Walmart who wants her 7th pillow pet. Just sayin'.

And it's always easier to pray that someone else would do uncomfortable things for God's glory like step out of their comfort zone and share God's love with people even in the suburbs, but I think I actually want to challenge you guys this time around to pray the same thing for yourselves. That doesn't mean I expect you all to report back to me about how you evangelized your whole neighborhood, but if you're taking your relationship with God seriously, you SHOULD be asking Him as often as you can how He wants to use you. A promise I always have to remember is that God will never give you more than you can handle, so if you're afraid He's going to ask you to do something ridiculous, just know that He knows you can handle whatever it is He wants you to do. Maybe it will start with being polite to people at the gas station, or maybe He's ready to take you further than that and you're supposed to ask a friend how you can be praying for them. I don't have the answers for what you should be doing, He does. But I can at least remind you to be asking Him, for me and for yourself  :)

If you wanna talk about steps you're taking, it would be a huge encouragement to me! And I would love to be praying for you as well. Anytime you guys wanna chat, hopefully you have my cell number or you can always message me on facebook.

Grad and Team Pictures!

There's soooo much to update on, I'm a little overwhelmed and not sure where to start. But I did want to give a little something... So I figured that the least I could do would be post a few pictures so that as I'm referring to people in my posts, you can put a face to the names. And it's a quick way for you guys to get to know the people I've been serving God with the past months of my life.


Our 'good' picture of DTS staff and students (there were tons of cameras so we're not always looking in the same direction) -

Back row: Scott (staff), Jarryd, Nate, Brian, Ageeth, Brenden (staff), Haleigh

Middle: Michelle, Deb (school leader), Ahnna (staff), Debbie, Me (staff), Deanne, Kirstin (staff), Courtney, Tammy, Lara, Dorie, Caitlin (staff), Katie (staff)

Bottom row: Paul, Michelle and Paul's kids :)

It seems like not all of us got the 'funny picture' memo...

And one of our last Peru team photos - 

From the top: Nate, Scott, Brian, Deanne, Me, Debbie

Thank you so much to everyone that kept us in your prayers! It means the world to me!

Home Again

I know it's been forever since I've written and I'm probably not even going to write a lot now. But I feel bad because I haven't updated in so long...

So the last week of Peru was insanity (crazy busy) and we finally got home on February 17th. The DTS students and also the SOMD interns (so me and 4 other interns) graduated on February 23rd. That was definitely a satisfying graduation after 9 months. Then we said our goodbyes and everyone left within a few days. Hopefully in the next couple weeks I can share some stories from the last portion of time in Peru when I didn't get a chance to blog.

Since being home... well let's be honest, I haven't really been home much. Actually the day after the last of my SOMD friends left, I went on a road trip with some of the DTS students to Chicago for a couple days. It was an awesome time. We went around the city, saw Millennium Park, went to the ZOO!!, and did other things I don't remember right now because I'm exhausted haha.

So now I'm home... not sure for how long, not sure of future plans, same story as always :) I'll start applying for jobs within the next week probably and I'm spending lots of time with friends, catching up and resting from the past few months. Hope to keep you all updated in the meantime, call or text me if you'd like to get coffee and chat! I've got plenty of time on my hands right now!

PS. Look how funny I am:

     Anaconda in the zoo in Iquitos..

"Anaconda" in the zoo in Chicago!!  

Hahaha so clever!

What A Week...

 This is me and a new friend from one of our daily kids programs... She was pretty excited about her animal balloon. Actually she refused to have a picture without her 'perrito' in it which is why my face got nicely cut out a little bit :)

So this past almost 2 weeks has been more on the difficult side. We were working with one church that had multiple locations (so one main church with sister churches around the area that are just starting up) and we stayed at each location for 2 days. It was a good set up with kids programs for a couple hours in the afternoon then youth programs in the evenings, with other random things in between like some pastors preferred evangelism in the plaza rather than youth programs at night. But because of communication problems and just a general latino or warm-cultured manner of things, almost every one of our plans was altered or completely fell through every day. From the first day where it was pouring rain which meant nobody showed up to either of our programs so we just went home (which is completely out of our control of course), to a few days later when we arrived at one of the new locations and the pastor had no idea we were going to be there so we had no ministry planned. As challenging and seriously frustrating as it was, the whole team really learned how to think on our feet and make the most out of opportunities.

For example, one night when zero youth showed up for our service, we decided we weren't just going to sit around. We walked a couple blocks to a plaza and started up some conversations with people. I met two younger girls, one 12 and one 19, and we had an awesome talk. The older one whose name was Ana ended up telling me a lot about her life and something she's going through with her parents. It surprised me how much she told me and just wanted to keep talking and the awesome part was I was able to relate to her through my history and pray for her. I shared with her some things I felt God wanted me to tell her and I think she really took them to heart. It was an amazing time where God really spoke to me how much He cares about very specific things. The fact that I, of all people, just happened to sit down with her and start up a conversation as a stranger and was able to relate to so much of her story and then share with her what God wanted to speak to her... I really felt like I was in the right place because He so badly wanted to communicate His love for this girl that He gave us the idea to walk down to the plaza, made sure my group just happened to sit down with these two girls, and that I would be the one talking to her.

Yeah, I was really in awe the rest of the night of how God uses situations that seem like a lost cause to show how immense His love is for his creation and how He uses us when we're available to do whatever we can. Even when it's a last minute attempt at having some form of ministry for the day when everything else has gone wrong, if we're still there to serve God regardless of the circumstances, He uses it for good. He's so cute :)


Sooooo we will hopefully be leaving for our next river trip tomorrow! Word on the street (ok some YWAM Iquitos staff told me) is that there's going to be a protest starting tonight so the roads might be blocked which means we might have to wait a couple extra days to leave. That would be really unfortunate and mess with all of our plans of course, so please please please be praying for open streets tomorrow or some form of transportation that isn't affected by whatever protest is going on! This protesting thing is super typical of Iquitos so I'm not surprised at all that it's happening, it just might conflict really badly with where we need to go. Also prayers while we're on the river for general safety, health since all of us got sick at some point the last trip, for unity in the team, and that we would take even more steps out of our comfort zone to really serve God, each other, and the communities we're in even when we don't necessarily feel like it.

I know this is a relatively long post compared to my last few. Hopefully it gives some insight into the things we're doing here -with God's help- and I'll post again when we're home!
Chau!

So Many Children!

So many kids programs this week... But not a lot of time for me to write anything significant. So I wanted to share a quick picture for you guys, this is me and Deanne loving the clown costumes and having a great time with the kids. We've had a lot of laughs this week...

Hopefully I'll be able to really update on these past few days soon! If not, we leave for our next river trip on the 30th for 9ish days and we will need LOTS of prayer!! Ahhh I really miss everyone lately and I can't wait to see you all and tell you great stories when I come home! Just a few more weeks here!