The Response That Shocked Me

Once upon a time, one of the women on staff here, Lety, approached me asking if I’d like to join her and another friend who were planning to go to Puerto America, a village on the River that has less than 10 families, and has only recently learned of the love of Jesus. When I heard that one of the main focuses for this trip was to hand out bibles to this newly Christian community because none of them had ever read the word of God before, I was already excited for the things that would happen on this adventure. We were going to get to know the families a bit more, do some worship services to show them how to praise God, have an early Christmas celebration with them, and do some games with the kids. This week of ministry sounded like the perfect time for me to get away from the city, experience the heart of the jungle again, and be reminded of God’s love for the Amazon region. I couldn’t wait to go!

It occurred to me just a few days before we left for the trip that I could make this a bit more personal to my ministry goals, and asked Lety how she felt about me giving a presentation on preventing human trafficking while in this community. She said she thought it would be really good information for them to know, since I’ve shared with her how common it is for children in particular to be trafficked from the smaller villages with hopes of finding better education or jobs in other areas, only to be put to work in labor or sex trafficking. This was a new challenge for me, since I’ve only ever shared in cities before where people are relatively familiar with what slavery used to look like, and may have heard terms like “trafficking” or “exploitation” before. But this community doesn’t have much contact with the outside world, so I had to re-think almost my entire speech, and present it in a very simplified format. This made me pretty nervous, but I also knew the importance of sharing these things with Puerto America to help them be aware of the dangers that can easily be prevented when you know what to look for in a potential trafficker.  

Before and during my presentation, there was one woman in particular named Claudia who was very enthusiastic to hear about human trafficking, and really wanted to make sure that all the adults in the village were there to learn about it as well. She was very responsive while I spoke, and kept saying things like “yes, that’s exactly how it happened”, or “that’s exactly what my experience was like”. At the end, we asked if she would be willing to share what her experience had been. From my understanding up to that point, I figured she knew of someone who had been trafficked, or she personally had been exploited at some point in her life. What she actually shared shocked me, and was incredibly powerful.

7 years ago, Claudia’s daughter had been trafficked straight from the village we were in. The trafficker was a widely trusted adult because she was the previous director of the village school. Claudia started becoming concerned when she never heard from her 13 year-old daughter, and felt that something wasn’t right. Apparently, this director had trafficked many girls, telling their parents these kids would get better education at a school she had connections to in the city, and sent Claudia’s daughter into Iquitos where she was trapped in sexual exploitation for a long time. The woman who watched these trafficked girls (not sure if this was a brothel owner or just the guard), by the grace of God, had a special fondness for Claudia’s daughter, and tried to keep her safer than the other girls being sold. I say safer because she was still submitted to terrible things, but not as often as the other girls that were there. This guard would ask her “when is your mom coming to rescue you? Why isn’t she here yet?” Claudia had searched everywhere for her daughter, checking all the ports and airport with identification, but nobody had seen this girl. Claudia told us “when your child goes missing, as a mother, you never stop searching. You never stop looking for your baby”, even though people from the village had told her that her search was pointless, and that she was crazy for thinking something bad happened to her daughter without any proof. Since Claudia shared this story through heavy tears, it was a little difficult to understand exactly what happened in the end, but what I think she said was that this guard helped her daughter, giving her access to a phone to call Claudia to tell her where she was hidden. Shortly after, Claudia was able to rescue her daughter! She is safe now, living in Iquitos with other family members, and going to school.

This village needed to know the signs of human trafficking. They obviously needed to know many years ago, but for Claudia’s sake, it gave her a lot of closure to have me speak on the topic. Now the rest of the community believes what Claudia was saying happened to her daughter, and will be able to prevent it from happening to any of the rest of their community members, even though that school director had left their village years ago. This was a response I never expected in a million years to happen after one of my trafficking presentations, but it made me so grateful that God had put it on my heart to share this information with Puerto America. He obviously knew that Claudia’s heart was still hurting from that experience, even though her daughter is now safe. He knew that I had planned to go to this village just with the intention of ministering in other ways and being completely content to do so, but He had bigger plans. He chose to use my gift of knowledge on this subject to heal Claudia’s wounds from the past, and keep this from happening to their community in the future.

Our Lord continues to amaze me every day with His faithfulness to me, and to the lost and hurting women in the far corners of the Amazon. He intimately knows each individual heart, and never stops wanting to draw closer to us, just as Claudia never gave up on the hope of seeing her daughter again. I hope this story shows the fruitfulness of everyone’s support of my heart to minister to the women here in the jungle. What an encouraging trip this was! Please leave a comment here if this impacted you, and check out pictures of my time in Puerto America on Facebook!

This was the group I shared my human trafficking presentation with. Claudia is directly in front of me in the photo.

River Trip Prayer Requests!

I wanted to share with anybody interested about this awesome opportunity I have to go out to a River village next week to serve alongside some YWAM Iquitos women! I was originally just going to send this as an email to my group of prayer partners that I update weekly-ish, but I feel that this specific week will need a lot of spiritual covering and blessing. Please join me in prayer for this trip, and let me know if you'd like to receive weekly updates like this to pray for my ministry daily!

Hey everyone,

More details about my upcoming river trip: We leave on Monday! I can’t even say bright and early, because we’re probably leaving before the bright and early even starts… The lancha (public transport on the river, usually a two level boat) leaves at 7AM, we will want to get there at about 6:30 to get situated with all our supplies and things, and it’s a 1.5 hour trip to Nauta, the port city, from the base in Iquitos, without counting the loading up supplies and other transportation, etc. So like I said, we will be leaving before the bright and early J. From Nauta, it’s about a 10 hour trip up the Rio (river) Marañon, a channel off of the Amazon, and that’s not including any stops we’ll be making along the way to drop off other passengers and such. It will be a very long day of travel, and the same on the way home.

Once there, the plan is to do some kids’ programs, church services, possibly a program for youth/teens if there are more than a couple teenagers, door-to-door evangelism (which may be more like spending a few hours per family just getting to know them by doing daily activities with them like cooking or farming – this is a much easier way to share the gospel with Latino culture because they are all about relationship rather than information), and I’ve asked Lety, the leader of our trip, if I could possibly do a human trafficking presentation, and she said that would be great! I was already excited about the trip since Becky told us that she’d like to go as well, because it seems like such a great opportunity to serve together as a team and bond through a ministry that is not directly our own. With the 3 of us, (Becky, Raegan, and myself) I think we can use all the help we can get to form a solid friendship before our actual ministry takes off, to see how we each function in ministry without the pressure of it being our own women’s ministry. I hope that makes sense in words formed outside of my head… But I’m even more excited because I’m not just going to support Lety and her desire to serve in the river communities, but making it a little more personal by sharing about human trafficking for the first time in one of the jungle villages! I’m also praying that this will be the first of many opportunities like this since raising awareness about the issue is one of the best ways to prevent it from happening.

I’d like to really ask for more serious prayer for this upcoming week on the river. I’ve been sick the last few days with a pretty intense cold, and it’s wiped out all of my energy. I am praying and declaring that I’ll be healed and refreshed by the time we head out on Monday, because the river is physically straining regardless of the ministry we’re doing. It’s hotter, there’s no electricity or running water, and the Spanish will be constant instead of just sometimes like it is here in the city, which gets to be very tiring. I’d also like to remind you guys that I’m not on any medication to prevent malaria, which is not as much of an issue here in the city, but definitely a possibility out in the jungle villages. But we have a God who is more powerful than sickness, and I am trusting that you will all be joining me in daily prayer for our team’s health and physical safety!

I also ask that you be praying for the spiritual atmosphere of the village as often as you remember; that the people we are there to serve would see something different in our hearts and be drawn towards Jesus. That if it gets difficult or frustrating, that we would still have the patience and love for each other to work through issues or get over our own pride and be able to work effectively together. That the people would have open eyes, ears, and hearts to receive everything God is wanting to share with them through us. That this would be a trip that leads to a village full of God’s continual love, that they don’t have to depend on foreigners to come in to feel a sense of the Lord’s presence – this is common with villages around here, that they fall away from their walk with God until another evangelist group comes in to “fill” them again. And that overall we would have fun and enjoy the untouched beauty of this far away Amazon community!

I hope you’re all excited along with me, and I thank you so much for being a part of my team of prayer warriors! This is such an important part of supporting me and supporting God’s work here in Iquitos, and your prayers make such a difference. From Monday till Sunday, I won’t have any phone or internet access, so I will let everyone know when I’ve arrived safely home! 

Ciao!

Thoughts On Kids, Kids, and More Kids

I don’t know what it is, but God has something to teach me through children. This has been made clear to me because I have never been a fan of kids, but my last two jobs and now one of my main responsibilities here at the YWAM base during the EDL (leadership school) is to work directly with kids for hours on end. The longer time goes on, the easier it gets for me, but by the end of the day, I am still not excited about booger covered hands that like to play in the trash and eat anything on the floor. Pretty sure that if adults acted the same way, I wouldn’t be excited about them either…but thankfully I only know a few like that ;)

I also don’t know what the Lord is trying to show me through this time of basically mourning the life I had in Minnesota. I loved my house, I loved my roommate, I loved the kids at my job (because they were a good time, not because they were children - let’s not get carried away here), I loved making money and feeling like I earned the little rewards I gave myself for working hard – like Taco Bell after an exhausting day, or the satisfaction of cleaning my kitchen. Now I obviously have no Taco Bell, and cleaning the kitchen here only lasts so long because there are so many hundreds of ants everywhere in the base (and Iquitos), that a counter only stays ant-free for a matter of minutes. It’s been really hard for me to miss those luxuries, and has made the transition here a bit difficult.

But what I do know… God tells us to love and be like children. The more time I spend with them, the more I re-learn how to play. I haven’t been very good at that until the last year or so. I still don’t really feel super comfortable playing with kids, but I’m at least able to take my life a little less seriously and have some fun when it’s needed. I’m also daily reminded of how we are supposed to have faith like children:

Matthew 18:3-5

3 And he said:“Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

We are supposed to have faith that our Heavenly Father is always there to take care of us when we fall down and get a scrape, or to sort things out when we feel like somebody else is being unfair to us. Can you tell that I’ve been working with toddlers the last few weeks?

These little ones are also so attached to their parents, that the first two weeks, every single morning and afternoon when their parents would leave for class, we would have 4+ screaming, sobbing kids who could not be consoled in any way. What if my desire for my Heavenly Father were that strong? What if I just could not stand to be outside of His presence, or knowing that He’s nearby? What if I actually trusted that if I went to Him with absolutely any problem in the world, He would do His best to fix it and take care of me? What if I trusted that He actually knows how to do this life thing better than I do?

I know that I’m here for a very special reason. I do trust that He has a plan for me. But here I am, pouting like one of these toddlers that I can’t have my mediocre life at home, when He’s offering me life abundant. So I’m here now sharing my thoughts and questions with you guys, and asking that you pray for my heart to be more open to His fatherly love, and would trust the way Jesus taught us to.

These are 3 of the 7 kids that I work with every day! Moises, Elisabeth, and Alex.

Trusting In God Means This Is Really Happening!

My ticket is bought + financial support continues to grow + I've been officially accepted onto YWAM Iquitos staff  = I'M REALLY GOING!!! I fly out in 28 days. I have almost all of the monthly support for basic needs covered. I am just blown away by how God has orchestrated all of this to work out so perfectly.

The reason I wanted to blog was to share something specific with you guys that just dawned on me a couple days ago. I have never had to completely rely on Jesus to provide for me financially. I've always been financially responsible, have worked pretty much full-time since I was 14, and have been able to take good care of myself throughout the years. I have been able to pay my way through the things I wanted in life with occasional help from a couple people along the way. But this whole moving to Peru to become a full-time missionary business made providing for myself impossible, and relying on God my only option.

I won't have a source of income while I'm there (for however long that may be), and will be surviving off of donations, as I'm sure you've all gathered by now. I thought that this would be my biggest obstacle in moving back to Iquitos. I initially had the invitation last fall to join staff at YWAM Iquitos, and didn't even consider it to be a possibility until February-March of this year. I was so nervous that the funds wouldn't come, that my friends are too poor to support me, and I didn't even know if people would want to donate. I knew people "believed in my dreams", but who knew they would give so much of themselves to back me up in pursuing my passion?

Everything in the planning process has been going pretty smoothly so far - until this past week when my life here in MN started falling apart a bit. I've been super sick for weeks now, my job as a PCA has been so much more difficult than the average PCA position, and two days before the September rent was due at the house I share with a friend, the 3rd roommate we had just done the entire application process with to move in on the 1st decided to move back to her home state. This seemed like a great time to freak out... Which I have done a little bit. Challenges like this make me want to hide in my room with some chocolate and not emerge until I'm positive that there is nothing outside my door but unicorns and rainbows and happy people.

The day after this girl backed out on moving in with us, I asked God what the heck He was up to. I was not pleased at all with the probable extra rent money I'd have to pay when I'm clearly paying for much more important things right now, like leaving the country to serve Him. I thought He should know that I was fairly annoyed that this would be happening to me. In response, He gave me an overwhelming peace. I'm like a little kid stomping my foot to show how ticked I am that things are not going my way, and He responds by reminding me that His plan is always better. After this conversation with Him, it was so much less stressful to know that He obviously had someone better in mind to move in. His intention is never to leave me hanging or cause me harm. It was such a relief to know that God was doing things His own way, and I didn't have to worry about it.

Two days later, we met two awesome Christian women interested in the house. They will both move in October 1st, and they are such a perfect fit to be living with Dee once I'm gone! I'm excited because they're really fun, great ladies, and slightly jealous that Dee will have new friends all to herself.

So this realization hit me as I was pondering how this all worked out: Being forced into trusting the Lord with absolutely everything has made trusting Him with the little things so much easier. I guess that sounds like common sense, that if He can provide for me to move to another country and follow my greatest dream, obviously He would take care of the easy stuff. But I was amazed at how my trust in Him came so quickly, and not something I had to force myself to believe in (but secretly have a backup plan just in case...). I chose to believe that the last 2 girls we asked to move into this house backed out because God had someone much better in mind. I'm choosing to believe that things at my job are happening for a good reason. Choosing to trust in His goodness isn't such a hard thing to do anymore though - and this reminds me of how much my heart has healed this past year working on my relationship with God, and how He has immensely blessed me in return.

I'd like to encourage you guys to do the same thing. If there's something big that Jesus has laid on your heart, choose to believe that He's got His own way of doing things, and if waiting is where you're at right now, it is SOOOOO worth it! If trusting in His provision is your struggle (like mine often is), His love never fails! What a wonderful God we have!!!

I Have Not Been Given A Spirit Of Fear

I'm in the process of writing up a support letter to let you all know if you haven't heard already about my plans to go to Peru this upcoming fall! But I wanted to update everyone on a few things that aren't so finalized and ask for prayer support for the time being.

My life is crazy as usual - thankfully, the school year has ended for me academically and for my elementary school job! It's so strange to not be starting classes again soon, but I have been just as busy working on my future adventure! I'm applying as full-time staff with YWAM Iquitos, but won't know for a while whether or not I'll be accepted on staff. Either way, I feel very strongly that the Lord continues to confirm the timing and opportunity of my desire to work with women in Peru, and I will keep pursuing this open door unless it is made very clear that God has something else planned for right now. However, I'd like to ask you guys to come alongside me in prayer for both my application process and the preparations I need to make to leave the country.

My to-do list just keeps growing, as I'm sure lots of you understand :) I'll need to very quickly apply for a visa, renew my passport, go to various doctor's appointments, put together some presentations about my financial needs and plans in Peru that I'll show probably more than once at my church, as well as continue raising support since it's only just a few months away now! The plan is to leave sometime in the early fall, but that depends on my application status as well as having enough financial support committed.

I am so grateful to have such encouraging friends, family, and coworkers. You guys have been really supportive of my dreams for years now, and I hope to keep you all as involved as I can :) One of the ways I thought I could keep everyone in the loop was to finally blog about what's going on with these Peru plans, and share some prayer requests! That list of preparations that need to be made and the busyness that comes along with it is a huge prayer request for me. Some other prayer points would be clarity in communication with contacts in Iquitos, peace and rest through the summer of getting ready and raising support, God's provision in completing these tasks as well as financially! I've been somewhat nervous lately, even though everyone keeps telling me I'm so brave to step out of my comfort zone like this and trust God for every need that I have. Let me tell you that I don't feel brave at all! But that pushes me even further into prayer and trust in my relationship with Jesus as He guides me through this process. I constantly remind myself of a few scriptures in particular that are helping me so much in this season. I wanted to share them with you in hopes that you can pray them over me and my plans as well as for your own life :)

Thank you guys in advance for uplifting me in your prayer life. It means so much to me, and makes a world of difference!

Joshua 1:9

This is my command--be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.

2 Timothy 1:7

For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Isaiah 61:1

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,

because the Lord has anointed me

to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim freedom for the captives

and release from darkness for the prisoners...

Finals...

Hellooooooooooo!

I just want everyone to know that at some point once I'm caught up with my finals at school and have some time to breathe, I will be working on an email update from my time in Panama! For those of you who don't already know, it was fantastic, and I DID in fact get some sun (so THERE). If you did not receive my first email about Panama, but would like to, please comment here, message me on facebook, or text me your email address so I can add you to the list.

Current prayer requests to keep you guys included in my life:
-I spoke at my school about human trafficking and got paid for it! I'm a legit speaker now. So cool. That was a really awesome opportunity that I will have to tell you more about, but after preparing for that presentation, I now have to focus on my finals.
I've got one presentation to do for my Social Problems and Deviance class, which I'm doing on human trafficking of course. I just need to polish it up since I have a short speech on that already, and then please pray that the class would be interested and learn something!

-I'm also doing a big research paper for my College Writing class that I haven't done much for yet... It's of course on human trafficking as well. Actually, it's specifically on the psychological effects of prostitution and sex trafficking, but not straying too far from my passion :) For this one, I really need the motivation and the time to sit down and really tackle this thing since I don't have much of a start on it. I could use as much prayer and encouragement on that one as possible.

-Since I don't have much spare time, I haven't put too much effort into this, but I'd really like to have a new job pretty soon. It's becoming a really unhealthy work environment at my job, and I would like to get involved somewhere that's gonna lead me to my goal later on rather than staying in food service forever. I'm searching for something social work related, or something that looks better on a resume in pursuit of that kinda thing. If anyone has any suggestions, I'm definitely open to hear them! I've applied a couple places, worked on my resume a bit, and am really hoping that I find something in the next couple months. Prayer for an excellent opportunity where God can grow my strengths and learning experience on my way towards my future would be appreciated so much.


This summer, I'm taking one online class, working, and hopefully catching up with people. My life has been extremely chaotic lately, and I decided to take it a little easier over the summer so that I can regroup and reconnect with a lot of you. I really like coffee, lunch, dinner, or dessert dates.... just sayin.... :)

If I can count on you to be praying for me, please let me know how I can return the favor!

When I say I got some sun, I mean I got terribly burned one day in a mountain village, as you can see. However, those lines of red you can see DID turn to tan in comparison to the rest of my skin. Just so everyone is aware. Oh, and this is my new friend Jair who said he was gonna come home with us. 

We Share In His Sufferings To Share In His Glory...?

This post is basically straight from my journal a couple nights ago... I'll probably star ** a couple things to mention down in the comments if you don't know what I'm talking about, like when I refer to the book study I've been doing.



August 22nd, 2013
I'm reading the Wrap Up for the 7 Experiment bible study* I'm now done with. And I just had a pretty important revelation... Well actually Jen Hatmaker (the author of 7) had it for me, but it completely applies to my life right now.
She was in the adoption process with many complications, as it always goes, and she broke down because she couldn't have her kids without roadblocks and every day was difficult to bear because it was one more day her kids wouldn't have parents or a family. She finally told God how much she was hurting and wouldn't stop grieving until she had her kids. He said that the adoption process wasn't just the happiness of bringing kids into a loving home, but for them as new parents (to these kids) to join in the suffering of the orphans. Jesus felt a lot of suffering in his time here, not necessarily being able to fix every problem or heartache he came across.

"If indeed we share in His sufferings in order that we may also share in His glory." - Romans 8:17

So my heart hurts all the time, and I hate that I have years of preparation in front of me before I'll "actually make a difference" (ok I know it's not true, but this is how I feel most days). I hate that human trafficking* is everywhere around me, and people get to work with it -to prevent it- all the time or go to Peru or wherever else and do something. I hate that there are women and children slaving away in bondage every single day, and I COULD DO SO MUCH IF I WERE JUST THERE. But here I am just going to school and work every day, feeling like I'm stuck here forever and I'll be old and wrinkly by the time I get to go do something useful for the world. Here I am, getting more depressed as the months go on because of this awful mundane schedule. As much as I understand what a gift and privilege education is and having a job, I wouldn't hesitate to pass it up if I felt I could be just as qualified to go pursue my dream tomorrow.
But here God says I am doing something. Not just the usual of 'being a witness' and 'serving in the little ways' or whatever. But in reality, I am learning their suffering firsthand (as much as possible in the safety of my life of freedom, I'm obviously not learning what it's like to be a slave). I will work one day with women and children who have spent years hating themselves and their situations, but feeling like there's no better option. Even if they're working towards something good, they've still got their past to haunt them, and so do I.
I know someday I'll be able to tell them "this is how I found freedom in the mundane". Obviously I'm still figuring that out... I've come an extremely long way in the past few years (thank you Jesus), but there's more joy to be discovered.
I guess I will understand suffering, yearning, unsatisfied passion, and impatience on a whole new level when this season is over. As much as I still hate it... at least there is some holiness to this place I'm in. God is good, and maybe there's hope for me and my crabbiness after all.